An introduction

    Hi. I'm Carly. I am a mom of three, a wife, a quasi-retired lawyer, and more recently, a runner. I am registered for the Chicago Marathon this October 8 and it will be my first marathon ever. I wanted to chronicle this journey of training especially because it seems to be more of a mental journey than a physical one in a lot of ways. I struggle with anxiety and writing things down always helps me manage my anxious thoughts more successfully. Let me tell you, deciding to run a marathon has introduced MANY anxious thoughts.

Let me start from what I think of as the beginning of this decision. 

When I was pregnant with my second child, my son, D, who is now 6, I was really, really sick. Lots of throwing up and stomach pain. It was basically chalked up to a difficult pregnancy. However, after D was born, my issues didn't go away. I had terrible stomach pains and many days when I couldn't hold much down. I lost a lot of weight pretty quickly. I was tired all the time. However, I was breastfeeding a newborn and had a 3-year-old daughter to chase after too, so I thought, this is just a hard time. After 2 years of feeling sick, losing weight, not being able to eat much, and a few mis-diagnoses, I had a colonoscopy and was diagnosed with severe Crohn's disease. My large intestine had suffered so much damage that I had to have a third of it removed. My surgeon compared the part that he removed to the texture of a lead pipe. (I couldn't be luckier to have found my amazing gastroenterologist and general surgeon, but that's a story for another time.)

After recovering from surgery in April 2019, I was officially in remission! I finally started feeling like myself. I finally started feeling in control of my body again. And for the first time in about 5 or 6 years, I laced up my running shoes.

I ran my first race, just a 5K, but still, an actual race, in June of 2019. I signed up for my first half marathon the next day, which I would run on my 36th birthday that October, 3 years after my Crohn's disease first began. 

I had flirted with running before, I had run a few 5Ks and a 10K in previous years, but my love affair with running truly began with my remission. For the first time I wasn't running just to lose weight, I wasn't forcing myself to workout. I was running because it felt good (in a hard, often breathless way). I felt empowered in my body when I ran and I've continued to chase that feeling ever since.

I was never the "athlete" growing up. I have always been pretty active, but I have not been blessed with hand eye coordination. The story I always told myself was that I was not athletic. Pre-Crohn's disease, I would have told you that I would NEVER consider running a marathon, probably not even a half marathon. Isn't it funny the way the stories we tell ourselves, ABOUT ourselves, are often so stupid? Why did I spend so long selling myself short?

I'd love to tell you I don't do that anymore, but of course I still do. However, I'd like to think I do it far less. I am far more confident in my abilities, but more importantly in my capacity for growth, change and improvement.

So here we are. 4 years after I ran that 5K, I have started training for my first marathon, running and raising money for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. I'm a pretty regular runner already, so I'm grateful that the first month of training doesn't look too much different from my usual running schedule, but it will get very real in a few weeks and I hope I have the mental and physical fortitude to get myself to the finish line.

Today's training:  Cross training - strength work, biking and core workout (Yesterday was the first run, 3.1 miles)

Physical check in: So far so good, feeling strong. The run was relatively easy. 

Mental check in: So far there's always some underlying nerves about what's to come. Therapy yesterday helped a lot with those niggling doubts.

Chicago Marathon Donation page: Donation Page