Today's Running Life Lesson

     Running teaches a lot of life lessons. Today I am thinking about one lesson in particular that I am slowly trying to learn. You can't go at 110% all the time or you will burn out, even get injured. When I trained for my first half marathon, I didn't understand the concept of an "easy run." I thought every workout should be hard, that I should be completely spent at the end of it. I kept adding miles to my weekly training but I didn't give myself days to recover really and I didn't take any runs at an easy pace. I was running at my goal pace all the time. Guess what? I injured myself. I strained my glute and hip flexor and I had to take 3 weeks off of training to do physical therapy and dry needling. I was able to finish up training and complete the race, but it was definitely not pretty. 

    In most areas of my life, I am a perfectionist, people pleaser and high achiever. That is until I push myself to a burn out level and then I freeze or shut down. I have repeated this pattern multiple times in my life, with great shame. For a long time, I was too scared to explore it, terrified of what it said about me, terrified to acknowledge failure basically. With the help of my husband, my therapist and some excellent reading about anxiety and the many shapes it can take, I have begun to understand that I can go easier on myself. In fact, in order to function successfully, I have to go easier on myself. This does not come naturally to me. Sometimes I need to be forced. Often, I need a lot of reassurance that saying no to that extra thing does not make me a bad mom or a bad person or a disappointment to everyone I've ever met. But if I go at 110% all the time in my life, like running, I do burn out and I end up injuring my mental health and sometimes my relationships. 

    I often tell people that, in addition to therapy, running is my therapy. I mean that in multiple ways. Just the act of running, the pure physical exertion, clears my head in a way almost nothing else does. But also, running teaches me things about myself and how to live my life and then gives me time to process those lessons. 

Today's training: 3 mile easy run - It felt really good. This was a smiley run for sure. My playlist was lit too.

Physical check in: My legs are pretty tight, so I need to do some recovery. I'll force myself to do yoga and use the Theragun.

Mental check in: Today was a really happy training day. Days like this are magical.